My Only Defense For Having Lived by L. Ron Hubbard (Part2/5)

he only tests of a life well lived are: Did he do what he intended? And were people glad he lived?

People have often desired me to write an autobiography and while I would be perfectly willing to do so had I the time, I consider such a work, as I do myself, quite unimportant.

     I have led an adventurous life and it would possibly be entertaining to read, but I doubt such a work would shed any background light on my researches and would not clarify my intentions or why I developed Dianetics and Scientology.

     My motives have not been fame. I tried to give Dianetics, the entire work, to the American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association in 1949 and the AMA only said “Why should you?” and the APA said “If it is important we will hear of it.”

     I tried to avoid, until July 1950, saying I had personally done the research but then owned to it when I saw that unowned, it could be lost in its original form.

     My motives have not included amassing great wealth. The royalties of the first book, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, were given to the first Foundation. So it is not wealth.

     Power has not been my motive. I only held office in organizations to insist upon correct usage of the work, and this having been achieved sometime since, I resigned all directorships and retained only an honorary post.

     Further, one cannot have more power than he himself already has as a being; so power by reason of position I consider pointless and a waste of time.

     My motives are so hard to understand because they largely omit me from the equation. And self-centered men are not likely to understand such a thing since they know they would not forgo fame, wealth or power and so conceive that another would not.


     To try to understand me or Scientology by recounting the adventures of my life is a rather unrelated action. I am myself not my adventures. I have gone through the world studying man in order to understand him and he, not my adventures in doing so, is the important thing.

     I always operated on the somewhat naive idea that my life was my own, to be lived as best I could. A life is not always easy to live. When one’s life becomes “public property” as mine seems to have done, one is ill prepared and not even inclined to explain it all. It has been lived, it cannot be unlived and there it is. The results of having lived at all, then, are the only things that count.

     I never considered it worthwhile to live believably as that is a compromise which denies one’s own integrity.

     Also, to try to explain the technical inventions of a scientist by the way he plays a mandolin is of course something only a very dull person would do—yet of course people so try.

     The trouble with my life is that it has been adventurous and would make, perhaps, interesting reading to lovers of adventure stories.

My Only Defense For Having Lived Continued...

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